


Lift Me Up

by babypieandwhiskey



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Depression, F/M, Fluff, Kissing, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 11:43:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8326615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babypieandwhiskey/pseuds/babypieandwhiskey
Summary: After Cas smites the angels and returns to Earth he seeks out help at a local crisis center.  The councilor on duty at the time is the Reader.  Cas and the Reader spend time discussing what has happened to him and form a bond and Cas discovers a whole new set of emotions.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in season 8, between episode 7 and 8. Inspiration: Higher and Higher-Jason Manns - Covers with Friends album. Poetry used is from Leaf by Tim Smith, copyright 2014. http://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/leaf_588917

Lift Me Up

Reader Point of View

It’s finally almost five o'clock. It’s been a long day and you cannot wait to clock out and go home. This job has not turned out to be what you were dreaming of doing for a living and every minute spent in this office is pure torture. You want to help people. You want to be able to provide assistance to those who are truly struggling through life and need a friendly ear to talk to. 

The phone rings as you have five minutes left in your shift. Ugh, hopefully it’s a wrong number. 

“Crisis Center, this is Y/N. How can I help you today?”

“My life is over. I cannot go on living.” The man on the other end of the line sobs.

“I’m so sorry you feel that way. May I ask what your first name is?” You inquire to personalize the phone call.

“A-Alex…my name is Alex…” The man stutters.

“Hi Alex. Can you tell me about what has been happening that you feel this way?” You probe sensitively.

“Well, you see…I lost my cell phone. My whole life is in that cell phone. All my contacts, my pictures, everything. And I can’t find it anywhere. I just can’t imagine living without it.” You roll your eyes. 

This is so typical. Another “crisis” situation. You are really sick of these kinds of phone calls. You talk him through backtracking his actions and steps of the day and he finds his phone just as the clock strikes the hour.

“Thank you so very much. You are a life saver.” Alex says grateful.

“You are welcome Alex. Please if you ever feel these feelings again, do not hesitate to call the crisis center for assistance.” You repeat the script that your supervisor insists you use no matter what the crisis was about.

You are just wrapping up your last phone call for the day when a dark haired man walks through the office door. It surprises you because you don’t really get walk ins. He looks distraught and you immediately know this man has an issue that needs your immediate attention. 

“Hello. We are just closing up for the day, but if you would be okay with it, we could go next door and grab a coffee.”

“I don’t drink coffee, but that still sounds wonderful.” He replies with a slight smile.

At the cafe, you order your coffee and settle into a table across from the mystery man. He sits with his arms folded across his chest. His head is bowed and avoiding direct eye contact with you. He is guarded and you know that this may take a while as he isn’t ready just yet to open up. 

You take a sip of coffee as your throat has gotten dry and you can feel yourself getting a little nervous. 

“My name is Y/N. I have been working at the crisis center for five years and if you would like to talk about something, I would be happy to listen.”

He looks up at you through his eyelashes. There is something very dark and troubling in his eyes. You gulp. This man makes you very uneasy, but there is something, you cannot put your finger on, that makes you want to help him.

He uncrosses his arms and looks directly at you. “My name is Cas.” His eyes flash a brighter shade for just a moment and you are stunned. “There are many things that I could talk to you about. I do not know where to start.” 

“How about we start with what has brought you to the crisis center this evening? Would that be okay?” You inquire hesitantly.

“Well…” Cas rubs the back of his neck. “A commercial on the television told me to come to the crisis center. It said that you can help me with my problem.”

This man has something very odd about him, but in a way it’s absolutely adorable. “Okay. Can you tell me more about your problem?”

“I’m not very good at explaining things in the right way, or so I’ve been told, but I can try.” Cas said apologetically. 

He lowers his head again in shame. “God has disappeared. He is gone. I lost myself and believed that I was to be the new God.” Okay, either this guy is completely nuts or someone spiked my coffee. You look down at your coffee. Nope, that’s not it. He should be in the nut house. Man, why did this have to happen to me?! “I have hurt so many people and have done so much wrong that I do not believe that I can ever right these wrongs.” He looks back up to you and his eyes are now the bright hopefully shade that they were for a second earlier. The blue of his iris’ is gloriously beautiful. It’s like looking into the bluest ocean you have ever seen. His gaze holds yours in a trance and you cannot look away.

You eyes widen and you know that he believes what he has said to be reality. Shit. This won’t be easy.

“Okay, let me make a phone call quick and we will get you some help.” You say with a look of pure terror on your face.

“Please wait a minute, Y/N.” Cas pleaded. You paused and then sank back into your chair, curious as to what else he could possibly have to say to you.

“I don’t think I explained myself correctly. I am so sorry if I frightened you.” As his gaze softened, and his defenses fell, you saw his muscles physically relax. You nodded.

Cas sighed, wiped his hand across his face and continued. “I was trying to use a metaphor as I have a hard time with talking about these topics.”

“Oh okay, but I think I missed what you were trying to say.” You shift in your chair.

“After some major events in my life, I lost who I was. My ego took over and I viewed myself to be superior to those around me. I did things that hurt so many people, including those I care for. I don’t think there is anything that I can ever to do atone for my actions. I am at a loss for how to find myself and to make things right again.” Cas explained as his eyes started to water.

You scoot your chair closer to him and reach out to hold his hand. “Cas, you must not blame yourself for what happened.” You said softly. “Sometimes, we get caught up in the life going on around us and lose sight of who we are and who we aspire to be. Unfortunately, those we care about do tend to be caught up in this also. It may take you some time to feel like you have returned to the person that you want to be, but it is not impossible.” You look deeply into his stunning blue eyes, hoping you are getting through to him.

Cas wipes the tears out of his eyes with the back of his hand and a small smile starts to grace the corner of his mouth. “You need to talk to those you care about to let them know that you are sorry for your actions and that you did not intend to hurt them. If they care about you too, they will listen. I cannot promise that they will forgive you, but if you don’t at least try then you have no chance of redemption.”

“Yes, I believe you are right, Y/N. I do need to go talk with them. Hopefully, they will be willing to listen to me.” He says smiling. His face is now full of hope and he seems so much happier than when he walked into your office, but still unsure of himself.

“Please come by the office anytime if you want to talk more.” You say as you both stand up to leave.

“I will. Thank you, Y/N.” Cas says as he wraps his arms around you in a hug.

Hugging him back, you close your eyes and lean your head on his shoulder. You are so happy you were able to finally help someone who had a serious problem. When you open your eyes again your feet are no longer on the ground. You are hovering about six inches off of the ground. You hug him a little tighter, shocked and a little frightened. He realizes that he just let out his secret and smirks at you, gently floating back to the ground. Acting like absolutely nothing out of the ordinary just happened, Cas turns and walks out of the cafe. You stand in the cafe, in shock. What just happened?! Did I just imagine floating off of the ground? There is no way that was real. I’m hallucinating now, great! I really need a vacation…but not now. If Cas comes back to the center, I need to be there.

Cas Point of View

As I walk out of the cafe, the feelings that are overwhelming me are completely new. I don’t know what to make of them. It is a very strange sensation. My stomach is tight like someone has tied it in knots and it feels all fluttery like butterflies are flying around in it. Not that they actually are, but that is how it feels. When I had just hugged Y/N, I felt like a massive weight had just been released from my shoulders and like my heart was going to soar right up into the sky. And I made us float in the air. Why did that happen? I have never heard of anything like that happening before to any angel. I want to feel more of these new feelings, so I can understand what they are. What if feeling them causes harm to Y/N? I don’t know if I could bare that, but I really want to see her again.

After talking with Y/N, I know that I need to talk to Dean and Sam about what happened in heaven. But I am worried about how they will react. They aren’t known for being calm about these types of situations. I will talk to them tonight. Then, I will touch base with Y/N again to let her know how things are going.

Reader Point of View

After three more days of long, stressful phone calls at work, you are ready to have a good laugh. But the week is only halfway done. You are reorganizing your desk, when Cas walks in the front door to the office, glowing with joy and happiness. His white shirt illuminating him in your dull office and his trench coat flowing behind him as he walks.  
image

“Hi Cas. I’m glad you are here.”

“Me too, Y/N. I wanted to stop by and let you know that I am doing much better. I spoke with my friends and feel much better now.” He says with a gleam in his eyes.

“That’s wonderful Cas!” You beam. “Hey, I was about to grab a bite. Want one?”

“A bite of what?” Cas says tipping his head to one side adorably.

“Some lunch, silly, would you like to get some lunch?” You can’t help but smile.

“Sure, what would you like? I will go get it and bring it to you.” Cas is so completely clueless.

“No, I meant, would you like to get some lunch with me?” You are now trying very hard not to chuckle.

“Oh…oh…y-yes, I would like that.” Cas lifts one arm up formally for you to take. It’s very gentlemanly and completely throws you by surprise. You pause and give him a quizzical glance before accepting his arm. 

Cas makes small talk on the way to the restaurant, but it doesn’t feel small. It feels like the things he is talking about are just as important as anything to him. He describes in stunning detail the way that the sun feels on his skin and the way that the breeze blowing through the trees sounds.

“Floating down with grace and ease, carried off by the Autumn breeze, rich in hues of orange and red, landing in the flower bed…” He talks about a butterfly that he saw while you were walking and how it is an amazing creature. He talks about it with such passion, such admiration, such amazement that you are left completely breathless.

While you eat lunch conversation flows effortlessly. Jokes and light hearted banter is shared between Cas and yourself. Before parting ways Cas leans in close and places a caste kiss on your cheek and tells you he will see you again soon.

The next morning, a very tall man with long brown hair walks in the door of your office.

“Hello there, my name is Sam. I am looking for a friend of mine who said he would meet me here. He is shorter than me, but taller than you, wears a beige trench coat and has blue eyes. Have you seen him around here this morning?”

“No sorry. I had lunch with him yesterday, but haven’t seen him since.”

“Okay. Thanks.” Sam says in a hurry to leave.

“Wait…Sam?” You aren’t sure if you remembered his name right or not, but think that is what he said.

“Yes.” Sam turns around to face you.

“My name is Y/N. I don’t know if Cas mentioned me to you or not, but if you could call me once you find him it would really mean a lot to me. I just want to make sure he’s okay.” You explain and hand Sam your business card with your cell phone number. 

“Will do.” Sam replies with a knowing smile.

It is after the office has closed for the day when your phone rings.

“Hi Y/N, it’s Sam.” 

“Hi.”

“Can you meet me so we can talk about Cas?” Sam asks.

“Yeah, is everything okay?” He has you concerned since he is asking to meet.

“Oh yeah, everything is good. It’s just a lot to explain and I’d rather do it in person.” Sam explains.

“Oh, ok. Yes. That would be fine.”

“Okay, meet me at 2245 Willow Park Drive in thirty minutes.”

“See you then.”

As you pull up to the address Sam gave you, you see that it is a park. The trees are lit up with white Christmas lights and there are tulips, orchids, and daisies planted throughout the park. The mix of these flowers is intoxicating when you step out of your car. Scanning the park, you do not see Sam anywhere. Then, as your eyes land on a far corner of the park you see a magnificent sight. 

In a clearing, surrounded by cherry trees, is Cas. He is wearing a light blue button down shirt, the top few buttons undone. He has on khaki pants and looks like he belongs somewhere on a beach. Next to him is a small table with a candlelit dinner set up. Cas keeps wringing his hands and shifting his weight. You can tell he is very nervous and can’t help but feel your heart swell. This man is adorably sweet.

As you approach Cas, you can see a sparkle in his eyes that wasn’t there before. Is the sparkle from the lighting or is he finding himself again? His eyes are full of emotion and love as he embraces you in a gentle, but firm hug. You hug him back and never want to let go.

He loosens his hug just enough to be able to look at you. The kindest man you have ever seen is looking deep into your eyes and all of the hesitation you felt about him fades away. He is a man that you know will love with all his heart and care with all his soul, and you couldn’t want anything more than that. You glance down to his lips for just a second, hoping for a chance to get to know him more. He leans in and kisses you hesitantly, softly.

“Y/N, I need to tell you….I need to tell you what you mean to me.” He smiles. He starts to sing slowly so that you can take in every word and the meaning behind them. His voice is heavenly.

Now once, I was down hearted  
Disappointment, was my closest friend  
But then you, came and it soon departed  
And you know he never  
Showed his face again

As he sings you start to lift off of the ground again, his grace washing over you this time to relieve any shock and so you won’t be frightened. You feel loved and peaceful. A warm smile spreads across your face. You keep rising higher and higher. About 18 inches off of the ground you gasp. It was real. You had been floating the first day you met him. He continues singing, gaining speed and confidence and singing a little louder.

Keep on lifting (love keeps lifting me)  
Higher (lifting me)  
Higher and higher (higher)  
I said your love (your love keeps lifting me)  
Keep on (love keeps lifting me)  
Lifting me (lifting me)  
Higher and higher (higher)

I’m so glad, I’ve finally found you  
Yes that one, in a million girls  
And I whip, my loving arms around you  
I can stand up, and face the world

About 3 feet off the ground his wings spread. They are glorious and beautiful. His singing is now strong and full of passion.

Your love, lifting me higher  
Than I’ve ever been lifted before  
So keep it it up  
Quench my desire  
And I’ll be at your side, forever more

As you continue to rise, he kisses you again, deeply this time. You feel your heart soar and know that you will never leave his side again.


End file.
